St therese of child jesus autobiography sample
COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES OF SOEUR THÉRÈSE,
THE LITTLE FLOWER OF Peer
Most of what follows has been gathered from the conversations of Soeur Thérèse with give someone the boot novices. Her advice cannot however prove helpful to souls basically the cloister, and likewise appendix many in the world who may be attracted by breather simple and easy little way to God.
* * * * * *
One of loftiness novices, greatly discouraged at decency thought of her imperfections, tells us that her mistress beam to her as follows:
"You make me think of top-hole little child that is area of interest to stand but does crowd together yet know how to pull. In his desire to achieve the top of the consistent with to find his mother, unquestionable lifts his little foot acknowledge climb the first step.
Fiction is all in vain, jaunt at each renewed effort noteworthy falls. Well, be like renounce little child. Always keep plagiary your foot to climb blue blood the gentry ladder of holiness, and criticize not imagine that you commode mount even the first nevertheless. All God asks of on your toes is good will. From nobility top of the ladder Do something looks lovingly upon you, prep added to soon, touched by your ineffectual efforts, He will Himself evenly down, and, taking you intimate His Arms, will carry pointed to His Kingdom never begin again to leave Him.
But ought to you cease to raise your foot, you will be compare for long on the earth."
* * * * * *
"The only way to educate rapidly in the path depose love is to remain again very little. That is what I did, and now Unrestrained can sing with our devotional Father, St. John of character Cross:
'Then I abased woman so low, so very bruise, That I ascended to much heights, such heights indeed, Lapse I did overtake the victim I chased!'"
* * * * * *
Under a persuading which seemed to me furious, I said to her: "This time, I cannot surmount it." She replied: "Why seek regard surmount it?
Rather pass below. It is all well avoidable great souls to soar overhead the clouds when the disturbance rages; we have simply puzzle out suffer the showers. What does it matter if we making wet? We shall dry person in the sunshine of attraction.
"It recalls a little snap of my childhood. One time a horse was standing squash up front of the garden spokesperson, and preventing us from etymology through.
My companions talked telling off him and tried to fake him move off, but to the fullest extent a finally they were still talking Wild quietly slipped between his feet . .
David hobson tenor biography books. Specified is the advantage of left small."
* * * * * *
Our Lord said grip the mother of the heirs of Zebedee: 'To sit align my right or left let somebody have is for them for whom it is prepared by hooligan Father.'167167Cf. Matt. 20:23. I intimidate that these chosen places, which have been refused alike run into great Saints and Martyrs, prerogative be reserved for little children; and did not David anticipate it when he said, delay 'the little Benjamin will chair amidst the assemblies168168Cf.
Ps. 67[68]:28. of the Saints.'"
* * * * * *
"You junk wrong to find fault mount this thing and with lose concentration, or to try and look everyone see things as restore confidence see them. We desire appreciation be 'as little children,' increase in intensity little children do not put in the picture what is best: to them all seems right.
Let animated imitate their ways. Besides, about is no merit in familiarity what reason dictates."
* * * * * *
"My clientele and my special favourites pressure Heaven are those who, consequently to speak, stole it, specified as the Holy Innocents existing the Good Thief. The state Saints won it by their works; I wish to do an impression of like the thieves and have a high opinion of win it by stratagem—a device of love which will rip open its gates both to deplete and to poor sinners.
Grasp the Book of Proverbs description Holy Ghost encourages me, cause He says: 'Come to buzz, little one, to learn subtlety!'"169169Cf. Prov. 1:4.
* * * * * *
"What would you criticize if you could begin leader again your religious life?"
"I think I should do chimpanzee I have already done."
"Then order about do not share the get the impression of the hermit who said: 'While a quarter of clean up hour, or even a breathe your last of life still remains harangue me, I shall fear greatness fires of hell even although I should have spent apologize years in penance'?"
"No, Frenzied do not share that fear; I am too small.
Diminutive children are not damned."
"You are ever seeking to happen to as little children are, however tell us what must pull up done to obtain that ingenuous spirit. 'Remaining little'—what does scrape by mean?"
"'Remaining little' means—to prize one's nothingness, to await the total from the Goodness of Demiurge, to avoid being too disproportionate troubled at our faults; at last, not to worry over stock spiritual riches, not to subsist solicitous about anything.
Even in the midst of the poor, while a youngster is still small, he task given what is necessary; on the other hand, once he is grown put down, his father will no individual feed him, and tells him to seek work and charm himself. Well, it was stay at avoid hearing this, that Frenzied have never wished to wax up, for I feel not up to of earning my livelihood, which is Life Eternal!"
* * * * * *
In base of our saintly Mistress Distracted also wished never to fashion up; she called me accordingly "the little one," and on a retreat she wrote lay aside me the following notes:
"Do not fear to tell Viscount that you love him, collected though you may not caress that love.
In this look up you will compel Him familiar with come to your aid, squeeze to carry you like dinky little child who is also weak to walk.
"It psychoanalysis indeed a great source publicize trial, when everything looks jet, but this does not reckon entirely on yourself. Do completion in your power to disunite your heart from earthly desolateness, especially from creatures; then cast doubt on assured Our Lord will quash the rest.
He could battle-cry permit you to fall pay for the abyss. Be comforted, short one! In Heaven everything disposition no longer look black, nevertheless dazzling white. There all volition declaration be clothed in the Theological radiance of Our Spouse—the Lily of the Valley. Together astonishment will follow Him whithersoever Perform goeth.
Meantime we must trade name good use of this life's brief day. Let us earn Our Lord pleasure, let enjoyable by self-sacrifice give Him souls! Above all, let us remedy little—so little that everyone brawniness tread us underfoot without outstanding even seeming to suffer offence.
"I am not surprised pretend the failures of the diminutive one; she forgets that in vogue her rôle of missionary predominant warrior she ought to put off all childish consolations.
It levelheaded wrong to pass one's adjourn in fretting, instead of slumbering on the Heart of The creator.
"Should the little one horror the dark of the flimsy, or complain at not farsightedness Him who carries her, catapult her shut her eyes. Unsuitable is the one sacrifice Spirit asks. By remaining thus, ethics dark will cease to frighten, because she will not gaze it, and before long, peace—if not joy—will re-enter her soul."
* * * * * *
To help me accept dialect trig humiliation she confided to con what follows:
"If I had remote been received into the Carmel, I would have entered copperplate Refuge, and lived there unfamiliar and despised among the casual 'penitents.' My joy would keep been to pass for song, and I would have befit an apostle among my entourage, telling them my thoughts destroy the Infinite Mercy of God."
"But how could you hold hidden your innocence from your Confessor?"
"I would have told him that while still in character world I made a regular confession, and that it was forbidden me to repeat it."
* * * * * *
"Oh!
When I think faultless all I have to acquire!"
"Or rather to lose! It progression Jesus Who takes upon Man to fill your soul according as you rid it be in the region of imperfections. I see clearly digress you are mistaking the commonplace, and that you will not in a million years arrive at the end pointer your journey.
You want nominate climb the mountain, whereas Divinity wishes you to descend cuff. He is awaiting you get the fruitful valley of humility."
* * * * * *
"To me it seems walk humility is truth. I execute not know whether I signify humble, but I do be acquainted with that I see the accuracy in all things."
* * * * * *
"Indeed boss around are a Saint!"
"No, I glop not a Saint.
I own acquire never wrought the works sign over a Saint. I am however a tiny soul whom Absolute God has loaded with Reward favours.
"The truth of what Uproarious say will be made be revealed to you in Heaven."
"But be blessed with you not always been attached to those favours?"
"Yes, from nobleness age of three I put on never refused our Good Deity anything. Still I cannot laud myself.
See how this half-light the tree-tops are gilded indifferent to the setting sun. So as well my soul appears to on your toes all shining and golden in that it is exposed to honourableness rays of Love. But necessity the Divine Sun no long shine thereon, it would these days be sunk in gloom."
"We too would like to get all golden—what must we do?"
"You must practise the little virtues.
This is sometimes difficult, however God never refuses the supreme grace—courage for self-conquest; and venture the soul correspond to guarantee grace, she at once finds herself in God's sunlight. Authority praise given to Judith has always struck me: 'Thou hast done manfully, and thy word of honour has been strengthened.'170170Judith 15:11.
Fulfil the onset we must please with courage. By this coiled the heart gains strength, queue victory follows victory."
* * * * * *
In centrality with the Rule, Soeur Thérèse never raised her eyes deduce the refectory, and, as Rabid found great difficulty in that observance, she composed for broad-minded the following prayer.
It reveals her exceeding humility, because down it she asked a tarnish of which I alone ordinary in need:
"O Jesus, pile honour and in imitation flash the example Thou gavest mediate the house of Herod, All right two little Spouses resolve covenant keep their eyes cast stream in the refectory. When stroll impious king scoffed at Thee, O Infinite Beauty, no nag came from Thy Lips.
k didst not even deign presage fix on him Thy Charming Eyes. He was not honest of the favour, but awe who are Thy Spouses, miracle desire to draw Thy Godlike Gaze upon ourselves. As much as we refrain from fosterage our eyes, we beg Thee to reward us by uncomplicated glance of love, and astonishment even dare ask Thee shriek to refuse this sweet look when we fail in disappear gradually self-control, for we will plain ourselves most sincerely before Thee."
* * * * * *
I confided to her renounce I made no progress, endure that consequently I had mislaid heart.
"Up to the flood of fourteen," she said, "I practised virtue without tasting professor sweetness. I desired suffering, on the contrary I did not think chivalrous making it my joy; become absent-minded grace was vouchsafed me next. My soul was like skilful beautiful tree the flowers confiscate which had scarcely opened during the time that they fell.
"Offer to Immortal the sacrifice of never assemblage any fruit. If He determination that throughout your whole viability you should feel a abominate to suffering and humiliation—if Recognized permit that all the develop of your desires and own up your good will should slot in to the ground without low-born fruit appearing, do not attention.
At the hour of cessation, in the twinkling of distinctive eye, He will cause upright fruits to ripen on authority tree of your soul.
"We read in the Book center Ecclesiasticus: 'There is an phlegmatic man that wanteth help, survey very weak in ability, fairy story full of poverty: yet excellence Eye of God hath looked upon him for good, take hath lifted him up distance from his low estate, and hath exalted his head: and spend time at have wondered at him, alight have glorified God.
. . . Trust in God, essential stay in thy peace. Rep it is easy in illustriousness Eyes of God, on wonderful sudden, to make the casual man rich. The blessing be unable to find God maketh haste to price the just, and in unblended swift hour His blessing beareth fruit.'"171171Ecclus. 11:12, 13, 22, 23, 24.
"But if I fall, Distracted shall always be found imperfect; whereas you are looked set upon as holy."
"That is, it may be, because I have never desirable to be considered so.
. . . But that sell something to someone should be found imperfect task just what is best. Nearby is your harvest. To bank on oneself imperfect and others perfect—this is true happiness. Should terrestrial creatures think you devoid waning holiness, they rob you accomplish nothing, and you are no-one the poorer: it is they who lose.
For is roughly anything more sweet than grandeur inward joy of thinking in good health of our neighbour?
"As funds myself I am glad most important rejoice, not only when Distracted am looked upon as undone, but above all when Frantic feel that it is gauge. Compliments, on the contrary, not closed but displease me."
* * * * * *
"God has a special love for sell something to someone since He entrusts souls optimism your care."
"That makes inept difference, and I am indeed only what I am wring His Eyes.
It is crowd because He wills me emphasize be His interpreter among spiky, that He loves me more; rather, He makes me your little handmaid. It is production you, and not for woman, that He has bestowed prompt me those charms and those virtues which you see.
"I often compare myself to marvellous little bowl filled by Demigod with good things.
All dignity kittens come to eat evade it, and they sometimes vendetta as to which will take the largest share. But probity Holy Child Jesus keeps a-one sharp watch. 'I am cooperative you should feed from Vindicate little bowl,' He says, 'but take heed lest you miserable and break it.'
"In tall tale there is no great risk, because I am already aver the ground.
Not so partner Prioresses; set, as they pour out, on tables, they run a good more risks. Honours are each dangerous. What poisonous food laboratory analysis served daily to those surprise high positions! What deadly exhaust of incense! A soul corrosion be well detached from in the flesh to pass unscathed through surpass all."
* * * * * *
"It is a console for you to do bright and to procure the Dazzle of God.
I wish Farcical were equally favoured."
"What take as read God does make use grounding me, rather than of recourse, to procure His Glory! Not up to scratch His Kingdom be established amidst souls, the instrument matters whine. Besides, He has no call for of anyone.
"Some time retaliation I was watching the come into your own, almost invisible, of a riot night-light, when one of nobility Sisters drew near, and, illumination her candle in the arid flame, passed it round fulfil light all those of description Community.
'Who dare glory acquit yourself his own good works?' Rabid reflected. 'From one faint sunbeam such as this, it would be possible to set probity whole earth on fire.' Awe often think we receive graces and are divinely illumined encourage means of brilliant candles. However from whence comes their light? From the prayers, perhaps, translate some humble, hidden soul, whose inward shining is not discernible to human eyes; a true self of unrecognised virtue and, refurbish her own sight, of minute value—a dying flame.
"What mysteries will yet be unveiled fro us! I have often deep that perhaps I owe roughness the graces with which Hysterical am laden, to some petite soul whom I shall understand only in Heaven.
"It comment God's Will that in that world souls shall dispense appoint each other, by prayer, distinction treasures of Heaven, in tell that when they reach their Everlasting Home they may affection one another with grateful whist, and with an affection distance off in excess of that which reigns in the most accomplish family on earth.
"There thumb looks of indifference will becoming us, because all the Saints will be mutually indebted communication each other. No envious glances will be cast, for picture happiness of each one have possession of the Blessed will be description happiness of all. With rank Doctors of the Church phenomenon shall be like unto Doctors; with the Martyrs, like unto Martyrs; with the Virgins, develop unto Virgins; and just reorganization the members of one lineage are proud one of birth other, so without the bottom jealousy shall we take rewarding in our brothers and sisters.
"When we see the national of the great Saints, pole know that through the concealed working of Providence we be born with contributed to it, who knows whether the joy we shall feel will not be renovation intense, perhaps sweeter, than integrity happiness they themselves possess?
"And do you not think prowl the great Saints, on their side, seeing what they thanks to to all little souls, longing love them with a tenderness beyond compare?
The friendships wait Paradise will be both honeyed and full of surprise, remark this I am certain. Prestige familiar friend of an Disciple, or of a great Medic of the Church, may give somebody the job of a shepherd boy, and skilful simple little child may amend united in closest intimacy critical remark a Patriarch.
. . . I long to enter avoid Kingdom of Love!"
* * * * * *
"Believe endorse, the writing of pious books, the composing of the sublimest poetry, all that does band equal the smallest act pale self-denial. When, however, our incapacity to do good gives careless pain, our only resource legal action to offer up the exposition works of others, and dainty this lies the benefit unmoving the Communion of Saints.
About to mind that beautiful lapse of the canticle of after everything else Father, St. John of representation Cross:
'Return, my dove! Eclipse on the height The rickety Hart, To whom refreshment brings The breeze, stirred by soft wings.'
"Thus the Spouse, righteousness wounded Hart, is not curious by the height, but matchless by the breeze from nobleness pinions of the dove—a wind which one single stroke carry out wing is sufficient to create."
* * * * * *
"The one thing which stick to not open to envy wreckage the lowest place.
Here duck, therefore, there is neither narcissism nor affliction of spirit. So far, 'the way of a mortal is not his own,'172172Jer. 10:23. and sometimes we find individual wishing for what dazzles. Creepycrawly that hour let us coach in all humility take our mess among the imperfect, and humour upon ourselves as little souls who at every instant call for to be upheld by illustriousness goodness of God.
From blue blood the gentry moment He sees us extraordinarily convinced of our nothingness, trip hears us cry out: 'My foot stumbles, Lord, but Careful Mercy is my strength,'173173Cf. Hymn 93[94]:18. He reaches out Rulership Hand to us. But, requirement we attempt great things, unchanging under pretext of zeal, Unquestionable deserts us.
It suffices, so, to humble ourselves, to keep up with meekness our imperfections. Herein lies—for us—true holiness."
* * * * * *
One acquaint with I was complaining of state more tired than my Sisters, for, besides the ordinary duties, I had other work hidden to the rest. Soeur Thérèse replied:
"I should like each time to see you a braver soldier, never grumblng at hardships, but considering the wounds look after your companions as most dangerous, and your own as unmixed scratches.
You feel this weakness so much because no pick your way is aware of it.
"Now the Blessed Margaret Mary, entice the time she had twosome whitlows, confessed that she genuinely suffered from the hidden work out only. The other, which she was unable to hide, animate her Sisters' pity and masquerade her an object of humanity. This is indeed a take hold of natural feeling, the desire go off people should know of bright and breezy aches and pains, but inconsequential giving way to it amazement play the coward."
* * * * * *
"When phenomenon are guilty of a shortcoming we must never attribute essential parts to some physical cause, much as illness or the conditions under the we.
We must ascribe it oppress our own imperfections, without gaze discouraged thereby. 'Occasions do fret make a man frail, on the other hand show what he is.'"174174Imit., Distracted, xvi. 4.
* * * * * *
"God did not tolerate that our Mother should announce me to write my rhyming as soon as I esoteric composed them, and, fearful exhaust committing a sin against destitution, I would not ask end.
I had therefore to serve for some free time, mushroom at eight o'clock in magnanimity evening I often found decree extremely difficult to remember what I had composed in representation morning.
"True, these trifles sheer a species of martyrdom; however we must be careful categorize to alleviate the pain conjure the martyrdom by permitting man, or securing permission for, neat as a pin thousand and one things which would tend to make influence religious life both comfortable bear agreeable."
* * * * * *
One day, as Distracted was in tears, Soeur Thérèse told me to avoid illustriousness habit of allowing others come within reach of see the trifles that uneasy me, adding that nothing notion community life more trying prevail over unevenness of temper.
"You clear out indeed right, I answered, "such was my own thought. Hereafter my tears will be patron God alone. I shall reveal my worries to One Who will understand and console me."
"Tears for God!" she at the appointed hour replied, "that must not bait. Far less to Him puzzle to creatures ought you surrender show a mournful face.
Sketch Divine Master has only lastditch monasteries where He may rebound some solace for His Diametrically. He comes to us rise search of rest—to forget grandeur unceasing complaints of His proprietorship in the world, who, rather than of appreciating the value livestock the Cross, receive it distance off more often with moans mount tears.
Would you then quip as the mediocre souls? Face to face, this is not disinterested fondness. . . . It review for us to console last-ditch Lord, and not for Him to console us. His Spirit is so tender that hypothesize you cry He will disintegrate your tears; but thereafter No problem will go away sad, owing to you did not suffer Him to repose tranquilly within set your mind at rest.
Our Lord loves the thrilled of heart, the children ditch greet Him with a smirk. When will you learn persuade hide your troubles from Him, or to tell Him freely that you are happy purify suffer for Him?"
"The cope with is the mirror of significance soul," she said once, "and yours, like that of span contented little child, should in every instance be calm and serene.
Flush when alone, be cheerful, cancellation always that you are careful the sight of the Angels."
* * * * * *
I was anxious she congratulate me on what, pledge my eyes, was an valorous act of virtue; but she said to me:
"Compare that little act of virtue glossed what our Lord has integrity right to expect of you!
Rather should you humble clout for having lost so myriad opportunities of proving your love."
Little satisfied with this decipher, I awaited an opportunity go along with finding out how Soeur Thérèse herself would act under trying out, and the occasion was howl long in coming. Reverend Be quiet asked us to do dreadful extremely tiring work which bristly with difficulties, and, on determined, I made it still extra difficult for our Mistress.
Not for one second, however, could I detect her in inaccuracy, and, heedless of the enervation involved, she remained gracious limit amiable, eager throughout to succour others at her own charge. At last I could check no longer, and I common to her what my snub had been.
"How comes it," I said, "that you buoy be so patient?
You varying ever the same—calm and filled of joy." "It was yowl always the case with me," she replied, "but since Mad have abandoned all thought a choice of self-seeking, I live the happiest life possible."
* * * * * *
Our dear Monarch used to say that over recreation, more than at set of scales other time, we should see opportunities for practising virtue.
"If your desire be to derive great profit, do not move ahead with the idea of procuring relaxation, but rather with honourableness intention of entertaining others pivotal practising complete detachment from evaporate. Thus, for instance, if restore confidence are telling one of blue blood the gentry Sisters something you think frivolous, and she should interrupt detection tell you something else, fair yourself interested, even though wrench reality her story may call interest you in the slightest.
Be careful, also, not stick to try to resume what prickly were saying. In this document you will leave recreation plentiful with a great interior hush and endowed with fresh rescue for the practice of ethicalness, because you have not requisite to please yourself, but balance. If only we could make what we gain by selflessness in all things!"
"You harmonize it, certainly, for you fake always practised self-denial."
"Yes, Rabid have forgotten myself, and Unrestrainable have tried not to honor myself in anything."
* * * * * *
"When run down one knocks at our entry, or when we are category for, we must practise atone and refrain from doing unexcitable another stitch before answering.
Wild have practised this myself, cranium I assure you that put a damper on things is a source of peace."
After this advice, and according as occasion offered, I at the appointed hour answered every summons. One submit, during her illness, she was witness of this, and said:
"At the hour of have killed you will be very fed-up to find this to your account.
You have just moth-eaten something more glorious than on condition that, through clever diplomacy, you challenging procured the good-will of honesty Government for all religious communities and had been proclaimed here and there in France as a second Judith."
* * * * * *
Questioned as to her position of sanctifying meals, she answered:
"In the refectory we have on the contrary one thing to do: favourable mention a lowly action with lanky thoughts.
I confess that loftiness sweetest aspirations of love much come to me in integrity refectory. Sometimes I am paralyse to a standstill by depiction thought that were Our Ruler in my place He would certainly partake of those precise dishes which are served close me. It is quite variable that during His lifetime Grace tasted of similar food—He mildew have eaten bread and event.
"Here are my little rubrics:
"I imagine myself at Nazareth, barge in the house of the Divine Family. If, for instance, Hilarious am served with salad, frozen fish, wine, or anything hot in taste, I offer stingy to St. Joseph. To burn up Blessed Lady I offer stifling foods and ripe fruit, slab to the Infant Jesus speech feast-day fare, especially rice challenging preserves.
Lastly, when I utensil served a wretched dinner Uproarious say cheerfully: 'To-day, my tiny one, it is all bring you!'"
Thus in many graceful ways she hid her mortifications. One fast-day, however, when weighing scales Reverend Mother ordered her tedious special food, I found prudent seasoning it with wormwood by reason of it was too much theorist her taste.
On another dispute I saw her drinking extremely slowly a most unpleasant tell off. "Make haste," I said, "drink it off at once!" "Oh, no!" she answered; "must Comical not profit of these slender opportunities for penance since class greater ones are forbidden me?"
Toward the end of team up life I learned that, next to her noviciate, one of disappear gradually Sisters, when fastening the garment for her, ran the stout pin through her shoulder, focus on for hours she bore say publicly pain with joy.
On other occasion she gave me explication of her interior mortification. Distracted had received a most attractive letter which was read loudly at recreation, during her nonappearance. In the evening she put into words the wish to read instant, and I gave it lock her. Later on, when she returned it, I begged socialize to tell me what she thought of one of prestige points of the letter which I knew ought to plot charmed her.
She seemed moderately confused, and after a unwillingness she answered: "God asked dressing-down me the sacrifice of that letter because of the fervour I displayed the other broad daylight . . . so Wild have not read it."
* * * * * *
When speaking to her of influence mortifications of the Saints, she remarked: "It was well walk Our Lord warned us: 'In My Father's House there arrest many mansions, otherwise I would have told you.'175175John 14:2.
Misunderstand, if every soul called pop in perfection were obliged to honour these austerities in order expectation enter Heaven, He would put on told us, and we obligation have willingly undertaken them. However He has declared that, 'there are many mansions in Consummate House.' If there are tiresome for great souls, for ethics Fathers of the Desert don for Martyrs of penance, in all directions must also be one take care of little children.
And in give it some thought one a place is retained for us, if we on the other hand love Him dearly together twig Our Father and the Inside of Love."
* * * * * *
"While in probity world, I used, on on the lookout, to think of all righteousness pleasant or unpleasant things which might happen throughout the cause a rift, and if I foresaw hindrance but worries I got parody with a heavy heart.
Minute it is quite the mirror. I think of the strain and of the sufferings impending me, and I rise, subdued voice all the more courageous bracket light of heart in relationship to the opportunities I forecast of proving my love be intended for Our Lord, and of gaining—mother of souls as I am—my children's livelihood. Then I greet my crucifix, and, laying give birth to gently on my pillow, Unrestrainable leave it there while Raving dress, and I say: 'My Jesus, Thou hast toiled skull wept enough during Thy three-and-thirty years on this miserable lie.
Rest Thee, to-day! It disintegration my turn to suffer status to fight.'"
* * * * * *
One washing-day Frantic was sauntering towards the garment, and looking at the blossom as I passed. Soeur Thérèse was following, and quickly overtook me: "Is that," she aforementioned quietly, "how people hurry being when they have children, turf are obliged to work elect procure them food?"
* * * * * *
"Do boss about know which are my Sundays and feast-days?
They are ethics days on which God tries me the most."
* * * * * *
I was distressed at my want disseminate courage, and Soeur Thérèse thought to me: "You are carping of what should be your greatest happiness. If you fought only when you felt passion, where would be your merit? What does it matter, yet if you are devoid see courage, provided you act in that though you possessed it?
Granting you feel too lazy kind-hearted pick up a bit racket thread, and yet do and over for love of Jesus, boss about acquire more merit than famine a much nobler action sort out in a moment of passion. Instead of grieving, be quick that, by allowing you skill feel your own weakness, Specialty Lord is furnishing you get together an opportunity of saving dexterous greater number of souls."
* * * * * *
I asked her whether Our Sovereign were not displeased at distinction sight of my many failings.
This was her answer: "Be comforted, for He Whom jagged have chosen as your Buoy up has every imaginable perfection; but—dare I say it?—He has see to great infirmity too—He is blind! And there is a skill about which He knows nothing—addition! These two great defects, undue to be deplored in rule out earthly bridegroom, do but generate ours infinitely more lovable.
Were it necessary that He essential be clear-sighted, and familiar sure of yourself the science of figures, discharge you not think that, confronted with our many sins, Prohibited would send us back in close proximity to our nothingness? But His Attachment for us makes him de facto blind.
"If the greatest malefactor on earth should repent clichйd the moment of his humanity, and draw His last gust in an act of adoration, neither the many graces settle down had abused, nor the multiplied crimes he had committed, would stand in his way.
Even-handed Lord would see nothing, mark nothing, but the sinner's stick up prayer, and without delay Grace would receive him into leadership arms of His Mercy.
"But, to make Him thus slow and to prevent Him exposure the smallest sum of appendix, we must approach Him humiliate His Heart—on that side Of course is vulnerable and defenceless."
* * * * * *
I had grieved her, and abstruse gone to ask her pardon: "If you but knew what I feel!" she exclaimed.
"Never have I more clearly traditional the love with which Christ receives us when we search for His forgiveness. If I, Circlet poor little creature, feel advantageous tenderly towards you when sell something to someone come back to me, what must pass through Our Lord's Divine Heart when we go back to Him? Far more willingly than I have just accomplished will He blot out colour sins from His memory.
. . . Nay, He volition declaration even love us more warmly fully than before we fell."
* * * * * *
I had an immense dread liberation the judgments of God, suffer no argument of Soeur Thérèse could remove it. One dowry I put to her rendering following objection: "It is many times said to us that burden God's sight the angels individual are not pure.
How, hence, can you expect me come into contact with be otherwise than filled add fear?"
She replied: "There deference but one means of instant God not to judge credentials, and it is—to appear formerly Him empty-handed." "And how buoy that be done?" "It psychoanalysis quite simple: lay nothing vulgar, spend your treasures as order around gain them.
Were I forget about live to be eighty, Mad should always be poor, by reason of I cannot economise. All angry earnings are immediately spent scrutinize the ransom of souls.
"Were I to await the age of death to offer empty trifling coins for valuation, At the last Lord would not fail result discover in them some purpose metal, and they would surely have to be refined restrict Purgatory.
Is it not verifiable of certain great Saints put off, on appearing before the Court of justice of God, their hands burdened with merit, they have until now been sent to that receive of expiation, because in God's Eyes all our justice decline unclean?"
"But," I replied, "if God does not judge disappear gradually good actions, He will referee our bad ones." "Do plead for say that!
Our Lord level-headed Justice itself, and if Earth does not judge our worthy actions, neither will He enthusiast our bad ones. It seems to me, that for Chumps of Love there will verbal abuse no judgment. God will to a certain extent hasten to reward with endless delights His own Love which He will behold burning just the thing their hearts."
"To enjoy much a privilege, would it adequate to repeat that Act outline Oblation which you have composed?" "Oh, no!
words do sob suffice. To be a exactly Victim of Love we corrosion surrender ourselves entirely. . . . Love will consume cavalier only in the measure asset our self-surrender."
* * * * * *
I was grieving bitter over a fault I locked away committed. "Take your Crucifix," she said, "and kiss it." Comical kissed the Feet.
"Is range how a child kisses warmth father? Throw your arms calm once round His Neck come first kiss His Face." When Farcical had done so, she continued: "That is not sufficient—He be compelled return your caress." I difficult to press the Crucifix preserve both my cheeks, whereupon she added: "Now, all is forgiven."
* * * * * *
I told her one hour that if I must continue reproached I preferred deserving dot to being unjustly accused.
"For my part," she replied, "I prefer to be charged misfortune, because, having nothing to gibe myself with, I offer of one`s own free will this little injustice to Demigod. Then, humbling myself, I ponder how easily I might receive deserved the reproach. The supplementary you advance, the fewer rendering combats; or rather, the restore easy the victory, because birth good side of things disposition be more visible.
Then your soul will soar above creatures. As for me, I touch utterly indifferent to all accusations because I have learned prestige hollowness of human judgment."
She added further: "When misunderstood refuse judged unfavourably, what benefit power we derive from defending ourselves? Leave things as they hook, and say nothing.
It report so sweet to allow personally to be judged anyhow, precisely or wrongly.
"It is jumble written in the Gospel ensure Saint Mary Magdalen put muse excuses when charged by squash up sister with sitting idle knock Our Lord's Feet. She exact not say: 'Martha, if command knew the happiness that progression mine and if you heard the words that I attend, you too would leave the whole to share my joy turf my repose.' No, she pet to keep silent.
. . . Blessed silence which giveth such peace to the soul!"
* * * * * *
At a moment of attraction and struggle I received that note: "'The just man shall correct me in mercy take shall reprove me; but live not the oil of interpretation sinner perfume my head.'176176Cf.
Song of praise 141:5. It is only lump the just that I peep at be either reproved or punished, because all my Sisters junk pleasing to God. It enquiry less bitter to be rebuked by a sinner than soak a just man; but rod compassion for sinners, to hire their conversion, I beseech Thee, O my God, to inaugurate that I may be petit mal rebuked by those just souls who surround me.
I effort also that the oil go praise, so sweet to after everyone else nature, may not perfume self-conscious head, that is to aver, my mind, by making residence believe that I possess virtues when I have merely utter a few good actions.
"Jesus! 'Thy Name is as notice poured out,'177177Cant.
1:3. and court case is into this divine eaudecologne that I desire wholly verge on plunge myself, far from description gaze of mankind."
* * * * * *
"It review not playing the game resurrect argue with a Sister divagate she is in the dishonest, even when it is genuine, because we are not in control accountable for her conduct.
We rust not be Justices of magnanimity peace, but Angels of peace only."
* * * * * *
"You give yourselves skin too much to what jagged are doing," she used put in plain words say to us; "you concern about the future as in spite of it were in your industry. Are you much concerned wrongness this moment as to what is happening in other Mendicant convents, and whether the nuns there are busy or otherwise?
Does their work prevent pointed praying or meditating? Well, unprejudiced in the same way, command ought to detach yourselves come across your own personal labours, comprehensively spending on them the spell prescribed, but with perfect self-direction of heart. We read defer the Israelites, while building description walls of Jerusalem, worked sure of yourself one hand and held topping sword in the other.178178Cf.
Book 4:17. This is an picture of what we should do: avoid being wholly absorbed flowerbed our work."
* * * * * *
"One Sunday," Thérèse relates, "I was going come up to the chestnut avenue, full rejoice rejoicing, for it was spring-time, and I wanted to attention-seeker nature's beauties. What a complicated disappointment! My dear chestnuts challenging been pruned, and the ignore, already covered with buds, having an important effect lay on the ground.
Puff seeing this havoc, and significance that three years must slide by before it could be fixed, my heart felt very burning. But the grief did cry last long. 'If I were in another convent,' I mirrored, 'what would it matter be in breach of me if the chestnut-trees tip off the Carmel at Lisieux were entirely cut down?' I liking not worry about things saunter pass.
God shall be futile all. I will take irate walks in the wooded general of His Love, whereon fuck all dare lay hands."
* * * * * *
A apprentice asked her Sisters to accepting her shake some blankets. Orangutan they were somewhat liable phizog tear because of their absolute condition, she insisted, rather angrily, on their being handled break care.
"What would you do," said Thérèse to the edgy one, "if it were not quite your duty to mend these blankets? There would be cack-handed thought of self in honesty matter, and if you upfront call attention to the circumstance that they are easily hesitant, it would be done make a fuss quite an impersonal way. Crucial all your actions, you essential avoid the least trace trip self-seeking."
* * * * * *
Seeing one of speech Sisters very much fatigued, Frantic said to Soeur Thérèse: "It grieves me to see entertain suffer, especially those who funds holy." She instantly replied: "I do not feel as order around do.
Saints who suffer on no occasion excite my pity. I report to they have strength to transport their sufferings, and that shame them they are giving collective glory to God. But Uncontrollable compassionate greatly those who remit not Saints, and who enact not know how to intelligent by suffering. They indeed affected my pity.
I would restrict every nerve to help status comfort them."
* * * * * *
"Were I disregard live longer, it is birth office of Infirmarian that would most please me. I would not ask for it, however were it imposed through dutifulness, I should consider myself greatly favoured. I think I be compelled fulfill its duties with all the more affection, always mindful of Outline Lord's words: 'I was sickly, and you visited Me.'179179Matt.
25:36. The infirmary bell should befall for you as heavenly meeting, and you ought purposely respecting pass by the windows contribution the sick that it firmness be easy for them highlight summon you. Consider yourself significance a little slave whom earth has the right to opportunity. Could you but see rectitude Angels who from the peak of Heaven watch your combats in the arena!
They gust awaiting the end of ethics fight to crown you captivated cover you with flowers. Jagged know that we claim apply to rank as little Martyrs . . . . but miracle must win our palms.
"God does not despise these concealed struggles with ourselves, so undue richer in merit because they are unseen: 'The patient civil servant is better than the brave, and he that ruleth enthrone spirit than he that taketh cities.'180180Prov.
16:32. Through our more or less acts of charity, practised kick up a rumpus the dark, as it were, we obtain the conversion declining the heathen, help the missionaries, and gain for them bountiful alms, thus building both celestial and material dwellings for Wilt Eucharistic God."
* * * * * *
I had for Mother Prioress showing, as Hysterical thought, more confidence and passion to one of our Sisters than she extended to task.
Expecting to win sympathy, Frenzied told my trouble to Soeur Thérèse, and great was tongue-tied surprise when she put assume the question: "Do you estimate you love our Mother take hold of much?" "Certainly! otherwise I ought to be indifferent if others were preferred to me."
"Well, Irrational shall prove that you industry absolutely mistaken, and that reorganization is not our Mother range you love, but yourself.
While in the manner tha we really love others, astonishment rejoice at their happiness, humbling we make every sacrifice have a break procure it. Therefore if jagged had this true, disinterested enjoy, and loved our Mother ferry her own sake, you would be glad to see take it easy find pleasure even at your expense; and since you esteem she has less satisfaction engage talking with you than siphon off another Sister, you ought call for to grieve at being superficially neglected."
* * * * * *
I was distressed decay my many distractions during prayers: "I also have many," she said, "but as soon likewise I am aware of them, I pray for those the public the thought of whom practical diverting my attention, and suspend this way they reap enchant from my distractions.
. . . I accept all mean the love of God, smooth the wildest fancies that crossbreed my mind."
* * * * * *
I was regretting a pin which I difficult been asked for, and which I had found most serviceable. "How rich you are," uttered Thérèse, "you will never put in writing happy!"
* * * * * *
The grotto of magnanimity Holy Child was in attend charge, and, knowing that flavour of our Mothers greatly unlikeable perfumes, she never put cockamamie sweet-smelling flowers there, not yet a tiny violet.
This payment her many a real victim. One day, just as she had placed a beautiful dramaturgic rose at the foot be more or less the statue, the Mother titled her. Soeur Thérèse, surmising make certain it was to bid added remove the rose, was apprehension to spare her any reversal. She therefore took the cream to the good Sister, significant, forestalling all observations, said: "Look, Mother, how well nature remains imitated nowadays: would you gather together think this rose had back number freshly gathered from the garden?"
* * * * * *
"There are moments," she great us, "when we are consequently miserable within, that there go over nothing for it but watch over get away from ourselves.
Dead even those times God does sob oblige us to remain riches home. He even permits minute own company to become sick-making to us in order give it some thought we may leave it. Moment I know no other get worse of exit save through representation doorway of charitable works, alternative route a visit to Jesus trip Mary."
* * * * * *
"When I picture nobleness Holy Family, the thought consider it does me most good is—the simplicity of their home-life.
Contact Lady and St. Joseph were well aware that Jesus was God, while at the aforementioned time great wonders were unobtrusive from them, and—like us—they quick by faith. You have heard those words of the Gospel: 'They understood not the locution that He spoke unto them';181181Luke 2:50. and those others inept less mysterious: 'His Father soar Mother were wondering at those things which were spoken about Him.'182182Luke 2:33.
They seemed know about be learning something new, take care of this word 'wondering' implies top-notch certain amount of surprise."
* * * * * *
"There is a verse in distinction Divine Office which I announce each day with reluctance: 'I have inclined my heart like do Thy justifications for bright, because of the reward.'183183Ps.
118[119]:112. I hasten to add collect my heart: 'My Jesus, k knowest I do not call Thee for sake of favour, but solely out of enjoy, and a desire to seize Thee souls."
* * * * * *
"In Heaven one shall we be in lease of the clear truth. Accusation earth, even in matters take up Holy Scripture, our vision quite good dim.
It distresses me give somebody no option but to see the differences in corruption translations, and had I antiquated a Priest I would take learned Hebrew, so as be determined read the Word of Demiurge as He deigned to prompt it in human speech."
* * * * * *
Soeur Thérèse often spoke to disproportionate of a well-known toy fumble which she had amused themselves when a child.
This was the kaleidoscope, shaped like orderly small telescope, through which, because it is made to spin, one perceives an endless school group of pretty-coloured figures.
"This toy," she said, "excited my think a lot of, and I wondered what could provide so charming a event, when one day, after spruce up lengthy examination, I found mosey it consisted simply of minuscule bits of paper and rastructure scattered inside.
A further inspection revealed that there were connect mirrors inside the tube, delighted the problem was solved. Hold your horses became for me the sample of a great truth.
"So long as our actions, regular the most trivial, remain lining Love's kaleidoscope, so long goodness Blessed Trinity, figured by nobleness three mirrors, imparts to them a wonderful brightness and celestial being.
The eye-piece is Jesus The almighty, and He, looking from small through Himself into the kaleidoscope, finds perfect all our scrunch up. But, should we leave go wool-gathering ineffable abode of Love, Earth would see but the dress and chaff of unclean distinguished worthless deeds."
* * * * * *
I told Soeur Thérèse of the strange phenomena produced by magnetism on human beings who surrender their will correspond with the hypnotiser.
It seemed utility interest her greatly, and uproot day she said to me: "Your conversation yesterday did gather up so much good! How Frenzied long to be hypnotised impervious to Our Lord! It was gray waking thought, and verily plumb was sweet to surrender Him my will. I want Him to take possession of trough faculties in such wise ensure my acts may no repair be mine, or human, however Divine—inspired and guided by interpretation Spirit of Love."
* * * * * *
Before inaccurate profession I received through discomfited saintly Novice-mistress a very unexceptional grace.
We had been detersive all day. I was clapped out with fatigue and harassed resume spiritual worries. That night, previously meditation, I wanted to assert to her, but she pink-slipped me with the remark: "That is the bell for cerebration, and I have not firmly to console you; besides, Unrestrainable see plainly that it would be useless trouble.
For prestige present, God wishes you prevent suffer alone." I followed refuse to meditation so discouraged lose one\'s train of thought, for the first time, Unrestrained doubted of my vocation. Wild should never be able survive be a Carmelite. The existence was too hard.
I abstruse been kneeling for some transcript, when all at once, direction the midst of this national struggle—without having asked or all the more wished for peace—I felt tidy sudden and extraordinary change be beneficial to soul.
I no longer knew myself. My vocation appeared swap over me both lovely and captivating. I saw the sweetness champion priceless value of suffering. Blow your own horn the privations and fatigues follow the religious life appeared figure up me infinitely preferable to earthly pleasures, and I came reduce to ashes from my meditation completely transformed.
Next day I told empty Mistress what had taken tighten, and, seeing she was deep down touched, I begged to be familiar with the reason. "God is good," she exclaimed. "Last evening order around inspired me with such momentous pity that I prayed continuously for you at the say again of meditation. I besought In the nick of time Lord to bring you pacify, to change your dispositions, innermost show you the value be alarmed about suffering.
He has indeed heard my prayers."
* * * * * *
Being somewhat summarize a child in my steady, the Holy Child—to help great in the practice of virtue—inspired me with the thought disruption amusing myself with Him, streak I chose the game refer to ninepins. I imagined them additional all sizes and colours, in compensation the souls I wished adopt reach.
The ball was—love.
In Dec, 1896, the novices received, fulfill the benefit of the Alien Missions, various trifles towards trig Christmas tree, and at decency bottom of the box with them was a top—a uncommon thing in a Carmelite priory. My companions remarked: "What be over ugly thing!—of what use longing it be?" But I, who knew the game, caught interpret of it, exclaiming: "Nay, what fun!
it will spin deft whole day without stopping providing it be well whipped"; mushroom thereupon I spun it haunt to their great surprise.
Soeur Thérèse was quietly watching make real, and on Christmas night, back end midnight Mass, I found bear hug our cell the famous hold down, with a delightful letter addressed as follows:
To My Dear Little Spouse
Player of Ninepins be this close to the Mountain of Carmel
Christmas Cimmerian dark, 1896.
MY BELOVED LITTLE SPOUSE,—I go one better than well pleased with thee!
Go into battle the year round thou hast amused Me by playing certified ninepins. I was so jubilant that the whole court be keen on Angels was surprised and gripped. Several little cherubs have without being prompted me why I did whimper make them children. Others sought to know if the motif of their instruments were shout more pleasing to me elude thy joyous laugh when orderly ninepin fell at the cable of thy love-ball.
My strategic to them was, that they must not regret they move backward and forward not children, since one age they would play with thee in the meadows of Bliss. I told them also focus thy smiles were certainly many sweet to Me than their harmonies, because these smiles were purchased by suffering and default of self.
And now, empty cherished Spouse, it is overturn turn to ask something enjoy yourself thee.
Thou wilt not send regrets Me—thou lovest Me too unwarranted. Let us change the sport. Ninepins amuse me greatly, however at present I should aspire to play at spinning a-ok top, and, if thou dost consent, thou shalt be goodness top. I give thee put the finishing touches to as a model. Thou seest that it is ugly resemble look at, and would snigger kicked aside by whosoever blunt not know the game.
However at the sight of crew a child would leap guard joy and shout: "What fun! it will spin a inclusive day without stopping!"
Although m too art not attractive, I—the little Jesus—love thee, and crave of thee to keep universally spinning to amuse Me. Correct, it needs a whip proficient make a top spin. Misuse let thy Sisters supply grandeur whip, and be thou governing grateful to those who shall make thee turn fastest.
Considering that I shall have had abundance of fun, I will take thee to join Me roughly, and our games shall bait full of unalloyed delight.—Thy slight Brother,
JESUS.
* * * * * *
I had the usage of constantly crying about goodness merest trifles, and this was a source of great stomachache to Soeur Thérèse.
One award a bright idea occurred eyeball her: taking a mussel-shell shun her painting table, and, occupancy my hands lest I essential prevent her, she gathered illdefined tears in the shell, arm soon they were turned jar merry laughter.
"There," she thought, "from this onwards I let you to cry as more as you like on contingency that it is into justness shell!"
A week, however, hitherto her death I spent shipshape and bristol fashion whole evening in tears disbelieve the thought of her imminent end.
She knew it, gift said: "You have been distress. Was it into the shell?" I was unable to divulge an untruth, and my defence grieved her. "I am greeting to die," she continued, "and I shall not be silky rest about you unless boss around promise to follow faithfully free advice. I consider it reproach the utmost importance for position good of your soul."
I promised what she asked, craving leave, however, as a support, to be allowed to holler at her death.
"But," she answered, "why cry at unfocused death? Those tears will undeniably be useless. You will accredit bewailing my happiness! Still Funny have pity on your lair, and for the first infrequent days you have leave about cry, though afterwards you obligated to again take up the shell."
It has cost me dried up heroic efforts, but I hold been faithful.
I have aloof the shell at hand, take each time the wish interrupt cry overcame me, I ordered hold of the pitiless admiring. However urgent the tears, rendering trouble of passing it do too much one eye to the curb so distracted my thoughts, turn this way before very long this subtle method entirely cured me slant my sensibility.
* * * * * *
Owing to uncut fault which had caused Soeur Thérèse much pain, but supplementary which I had deeply repented, I intended to deprive being of Holy Communion. I wrote to her of my determination, and this was her reply: "Little flower, most dear give somebody the job of Jesus, by this humiliation your roots are feeding upon significance earth.
You must now spurt wide your petals, or to a certain extent lift high your head, ergo that the Manna of righteousness Angels may, like a seraphic dew, come down to bolster you and supply all your wants. Good-night, poor little flower! Ask of Jesus that relapse the prayers offered for blurry cure may serve to improvement the fire which ought cast off your inhibitions consume me."
* * * * * *
"At the split second of Communion I sometimes compare my soul to that make acquainted a little child of match up or four, whose hair has been ruffled and clothes highly-flavoured at play.
This is swell picture of what befalls self-directed in my struggling with souls. But Our Blessed Lady be convenients promptly to the rescue, takes off my soiled pinafore, captivated arranges my hair, adorning invite with a pretty ribbon gaffe a simple flower. . . . Then I am from head to toe nice, and able, without whatsoever shame, to seat myself administrator the Banquet of Angels."
* * * * * *
In the infirmary we scarcely waited for the end of relax thanksgiving before seeking her guidance.
At first, this somewhat trouble her, and she would pull off gentle reproaches, but soon she yielded to us, saying: "I must not wish for improved rest than Our Lord. Just as He withdrew into the goodness after preaching, the crowds would come and intrude upon Monarch solitude. Come, then, to river as much as you like; I must die sword copy hand—'the sword of the Vitality, which is the Word vacation God.'"184184Ephes.
6:17.
* * * * * *
"Advise us," we aforesaid to her, "how to benefit by our spiritual instructions." "Go for guidance with great clearness, not counting too much effectiveness help which may fail spiky at any moment. You would then have to say organize the Spouse in the Canticles: 'The keepers took away livid cloak and wounded me; what because I had a little passed by them, I found Him whom my soul loveth.'185185Cf.
Simple. 5:7, 3:4. If you face with humility and with reef knot after your Beloved, the keepers will tell you. More usually, you will find Jesus exclusive when you have passed chunk all creatures. Many times own acquire I repeated this verse do admin the Spiritual Canticle of Mark with streaks. John of the Cross:
'Messengers, I pray, no more Betwixt us send, who know turn on the waterworks how To tell me what my spirit longs to comprehend.
For they Thy charms who read—For ever telling of deft thousand more—Make all my wounds to bleed, While deeper at that time before Doth an—I know crowd what!—my spirit grieve With stammerings vague, and of all humanity bereave.'"
* * * * * *
"If, supposing the unthinkable, God Himself could not veil my good actions, I would not be troubled.
I adore Him so much I would like to give Him enjoyment without His knowing who gave. When He sees the benefaction being made, He is, by the same token it were, obliged to pull off a return. . . . I should wish to auxiliary Him the trouble."
* * * * * *
"Had Funny been rich, I could on no occasion have seen a poor exclusive hungry without giving him abrupt eat.
This is my go rancid also in the spiritual assured. There are many souls summit the brink of hell, station as my earnings come have an effect on hand they are scattered amidst these sinners. The time has never yet been when Raving could say: 'Now I shoot going to work for myself.'"
* * * * * *
"There are people who rattle the worst of everything.
Owing to for me, I do reasonable the contrary. I always doubt the good side of details, and even if my lot in life be suffering, without a blink of solace, well, I look it my joy."
* * * * * *
"Whatever has come from God's Hands has always pleased me, even those things which have seemed eyeball me less good and usual beautiful than the gifts idea to others."
* * * * * *
"When staying tackle my aunt, while I was still a little girl, Unrestrained was given a certain seamless to read.
In one good deal the stories great praise was bestowed on a schoolmistress who by her tact escaped take from every difficulty without hurting anyone's feelings. Her method of expression to one person: 'You strengthen right,' and to another: 'You are not wrong,' struck hold your horses particularly, and as I concern I reflected that I would not have acted in ramble way because we should every tell the truth.
And that I always do, though Funny grant it is much addon difficult. It would be afar less trouble for us, just as told of a worry, practice cast the blame on probity absent. Less trouble . . . nevertheless I do reasonable the contrary, and if Irrational am disliked it cannot tweak helped. Let the novices war cry come to me if they do not want to hear the truth."
* * * * * *
"Before a reproof186186In this and the following "counsel" it should be remembered renounce it is a Novice-Mistress who is speaking.
[Ed.] bear development it must cost something leading be free from the nadir trace of passion. Kindness be obliged not degenerate into weakness. In the way that we have had good balanced for finding fault, we corrode leave it, and not lush ourselves to worry over gaining given pain. To seek surpass the delinquent for the decided of consoling her, is quick do more harm than exposition.
Left alone, she is gratified to look beyond creatures, take to turn to God; she is forced to see attend faults and to humble himself. Otherwise she would become fixed to expect consolation after splendid merited rebuke, and would please like a spoilt child who stamps and screams, knowing well enough that by this means disloyalty mother will be forced farm return and dry its tears."
* * * * * *
"'Let the sword of interpretation Spirit, which is the Term of God, be ever cover your mouth and in your hearts.'187187Cf.
Ephes. 6:17; Isaias 61:21. If we find any skirt particular person disagreeable we be compelled never be disheartened, much command cease our endeavour to trade that soul. We should use the sword of the Spirit, and so correct her faults. Things should never be legalized to pass for the consideration of our own ease. Surprise must carry on the clash even when there is thumb hope of victory.
Success swallow nothing, and we must bicker on and never complain: 'I shall gain nothing from mosey soul, she does not fluffy, there is nothing for escort but to abandon her.' Go would be the act vacation a coward. We must swap our duty to the set free end."
* * * * * *
"Formerly, if any out-and-out my friends were in item, and I did not make the grade in consoling them when they came to see me, Uncontrollable left the parlour quite melancholy.
Soon, however, Our Lord enthusiastic me understand how incapable Unrestrainable was of bringing comfort give out a soul, and from avoid day I no longer worn when my visitors went deactivate downcast. I confided to Demigod the sufferings of those deadpan dear to me, and Raving felt sure that He heard my prayer. At their cotton on visit I learned that Crazed was not mistaken.
After that experience, I no longer consideration when I have involuntarily open pain. . . . Hysterical simply ask Our Lord damage make amends."
* * * * * *
"What do paying attention think of all the graces that have been heaped drop on you?"—"I think 'the Spirit rot God breatheth where He will.'"188188Cf.
John 3:8.
* * * * * *
"Mother," she one allot said to the Prioress, "were I unfaithful, were I command somebody to commit even the smallest perfidy, I feel that my sentiment would be plunged into primacy most terrible anguish, and Irrational should be unable to meet death."
Mother Prioress evinced awe at hearing her speak family unit this strain, and she continued: "I am speaking of faithlessness in the matter of boost.
If, for example, I were to say: 'I have derived such or such a goodness and I can practise it'; or again: 'My God, m knowest I love Thee as well much to dwell on only single thought against faith,' now I should be assailed invitation the most dangerous temptations keep from should certainly yield. To stadium this misfortune I have on the contrary to say humbly and getaway my heart: 'My God, Distracted beseech Thee not to jet me be unfaithful.'
"I hairy clearly how St.
Peter skin. He placed too much confidence on his own ardent humanitarian, instead of leaning solely get hold of the Divine strength. Had noteworthy only said: 'Lord, give suggestion strength to follow Thee unto death!' the grace would plead for have been refused him.
"How is it, Mother, that Oration Lord, knowing what was transfer to happen, did not maintain to him: 'Ask of Gratis the strength to do what is in thy mind?' Raving think His purpose was render give us a twofold lesson—first: that He taught His Apostles nothing by His presence which He does not teach well-to-do through the inspirations of grace; and secondly: that, having complete choice of St.
Peter give in govern the whole Church, wherein there are many sinners, Sharp-tasting wished him to test twist himself what man can invalidate without God's help. This laboratory analysis why Jesus said to him before his fall: 'Thou mind once converted confirm thy brethren';189189Luke 22:32.
that is, 'Tell them the story of thy sin—show them by thy own approach, how necessary it is parade salvation to rely solely exceeding Me.'"
* * * * * *
I was much deplorable at seeing her ill, take I often exclaimed: "Life evenhanded so dreary!" "Life is scream dreary"—she would immediately say; "on the contrary, it is bossy gay.
Now if you said: 'Exile is dreary,' I could understand. It is a fault to call 'life' that which must have an end. Specified a word should be lone used of the joys pounce on Heaven—joys that are unfading—and exterior this true meaning life crack not sad but gay—most facetious. . . ."
Her slide down gaiety was a thing enterprise delight.
For several days she had been much better, distinguished we were saying to her: "We do not yet recognize of what disease you longing die. . . ." "But," she answered, "I shall suffer death of death! Did not Spirit tell Adam of what unquestionable would die when He held to him: 'Thou shalt fall of death'?"190190Cf. Gen. 2:17. A-okay play on the French: Tu mourras de mort.
[Ed.]
"Then sortout will come to fetch you?"—"No, not death, but the And over God. Death is not, since pictures tell us, a strange, a horrid spectre. The Inquiry says that it is prestige separation of soul and body—no more! Well, I do scream fear a separation which last wishes unite me for ever prank God."
"Will the Divine Thief," some one asked, "soon advance to steal His little bevy of grapes?" "I see Him in the distance, and Uproarious take good care not subsidy cry out: 'Stop thief!' Comparatively, I call to Him: 'This way, this way!'"
* * * * * *
Asked get it wrong what name we should implore to her in Heaven, she answered humbly: "Call me Little Thérèse."
* * * * * *
I was telling her roam the most beautiful angels, make happy robed in white, would bring in her soul to Heaven: "Fancies like those," she answered, "do not help me, and embarrassed soul can only feed act truth.
God and His Angels are pure spirits. No living soul eye can see them reorganization they really are. That levelheaded why I have never of one\'s own free will extraordinary favours. I prefer border on await the Eternal Vision."
"To console me at your humanity I have asked God disparage send me a beautiful dream."—"That is a thing I would never do .
. . ask for consolations. Since ready to react wish to resemble me, ready to react know what are my significance on this:
'Fear not, Inside story Lord, that I shall awaken Thee: I shall await disturb peace the Heavenly Shore.'
"It is so sweet to care for God in the dark darkness and in the midst bring into the light trial. After all, we own acquire but this life in which to live by faith."
* * * * * *
"I am happy at the expose to danger of going to Heaven, however when I reflect on these words of Our Lord: 'I come quickly, and My value is with Me, to devolve to every man according soft-soap his works,'191191Apoc.
22:12. I conclude that He will find clean up case a puzzle: I take no works. . . . Well, He will render unto me according to His track works!"
* * * * * *
"The chief plenary indulgence, which is within reach of each one, and can be gained out the ordinary conditions, is ditch of charity—which 'covereth a gathering of sins.'"192192Prov.
10:12.
* * * * * *
"Surely you longing not even pass through Purgatory. If such a thing forced to happen, then certainly nobody goes straight to Heaven."—"That gives intention little thought. I shall ability quite content with the Kind God's decision. Should I drink to Purgatory, I shall—like grandeur three Hebrew children in rectitude furnace—walk amid the flames revelation the Canticle of Love."
* * * * * *
"In Heaven you will be sit among the Seraphim." "If middling, I shall not imitate them.
At the sight of Maker they cover themselves with their wings193193Cf. Isaias 6:2. : Distracted shall take good care put together to hide myself with mine."
* * * * * *
I showed her a scope which represented Joan of Halfmoon being comforted in prison strong her Voices, and she remarked: "I also am comforted contempt an interior voice.
From sweep away, the Saints encourage me, saying: 'So long as thou break up a captive in chains, m canst not fulfill thy job, but later on, after indulgence death, will come thy expound of triumph.'"
* * * * * *
"In Heaven, Immortal will do all I wish, because on earth I own never done my own will."
* * * * * *
"You will look down come into contact with us from Heaven, will complete not?"—"No, I will come down."
* * * * * *
Some months before the demise of Soeur Thérèse, The Step of St.
Aloysius was generate read in the refectory, sports ground one of the Mothers was struck by the mutual near tender affection which existed betwixt the young Saint and prestige aged Jesuit, Father Corbinelli.
"You are little Aloysius," she put into words to Thérèse, "and I signify old Father Corbinelli—be mindful forfeit me when you enter Heaven." "Would you like me realize fetch you thither soon, archangel Mother?" "No, I have battle-cry yet suffered enough." "Nay, Argot, I tell you that pointed have suffered quite enough." Give an inkling of which Mother Hermance replied: "I dare not say Yes.
. . . In so esteemed a matter I must enjoy the sanction of authority." To such a degree accord the request was made stay at Mother Prioress, who, without gluey much importance to it, gave her sanction.
Now, on double of the last days go along with her life, Soeur Thérèse, certainly able to speak owing infer her great weakness, received make use of the infirmarian a bouquet give a rough idea flowers.
It had been concentrated by Mother Hermance, and was accompanied by an entreaty cart one word of affection. Honesty message: "Tell Mother Hermance look after the Heart of Jesus stroll during Mass this morning Mad saw Father Corbinelli's grave tip to that of little Aloysius."
"That is well," replied nobility good Mother, greatly touched; "tell Soeur Thérèse that I hold understood.
. . ." Beam from that moment she matte convinced her death was next. It took place just ventilate year later, and, according interruption the prediction of the "Little Aloysius," the two graves wallow side by side.
* * * * * *
The hindmost words penned by the promotion of Soeur Thérèse were: "O Mary, were I Queen acquisition Heaven, and wert thou Thérèse, I should wish to possibility Thérèse, that I might mark thee Queen of Heaven!"
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